Unschooling trust

The unschooling carnival has been officially revived. It's interesting to read the variety of posts collected at one carnival. I've decided to blog about the topic for this month, whether it's part of the collection or not, because it's a great topic and rolls around frequently on the lists.

~~August topic: Do you extend the principles of unschooling (trust, freedom, etc) into any other areas of your child's life? ~~

I think the question for me, is how does an unschooling parent NOT extend the principles of unschooling to all areas of life? It just doesn't make sense to me. If a parent says that a child is capable of learning what they want, when they want, then how does that NOT apply to areas like eating, sleeping, household tasks and other topics?

For us, learning is about everything in life. Learning how your body feels when it takes in different foods is part of learning. Learning how to wash dishes or do laundry or any other household task is...well, part of learning. It's ALL part of the journey of life, it's all an individual thing. How does one apply trust to only certain parts of the learning a child does?

It's like saying "I trust you...but not really" to a child. Saying I trust my child to learn all these things in their own way and time, does not mean I am relegated to some imaginary back seat. Children DO need avenues to explore these things, and I am their avenue until they're old enough to know there are avenues available.

I read this at another blog recently, where television was being controlled and limited: "The fact that your instincts are warning you that you may not be doing the right thing is excellent–but the culprit here isn’t unschooling. It’s allowing your kids to watch non-stop cartoon network/TV."

Why are the children watching non-stop tv? Are there other choices available? Has it been doled out and limited by the parents so that it's seen as a forbidden fruit and the children want more, more, more? In our home, the television would not be limited any more than books would be! They are simply two different forms of communication, not better or worse, just different. I wouldn't lock up the books, we don't lock up the television either. Interestingly enough, in a home where the children all have tv's in their rooms, it isn't on constantly, nor does it hold their interest more than other activities. That's the result of freedom in choice. When a choice isn't limited, there's no reason to gorge, it's just another option among many options.

They don't learn these skills in a vacuum. But they do learn them with a parent that is aware, assisting, offering opportunities and being a support. They learn all these things in their own time and way, because that is what humans do. They learn about all of it, because it is all a part of their lives. Learning is living is learning....I can't possibly separate out one kind of learning over another.

Unschooling is all about living well. So when an issue arises, my main concern is not how to get any kind of information or behavior into my child, but how to address the concern in the most helpful manner possible for all parties involved. Looking at our journey in this way, changes everything about our family dynamics. Life is short. Our focus is about relationships and how to live each day fully....it's about
seeing the beauty in everyday occurances and taking pleasure in the simple things.

Living well. What does that mean? When a person looks back over their life story, will it be with regret or a sense of fulfillment? I believe that in applying the philosophies of trust, freedom and awareness to all aspects of our lives, we are creating the environment that leads to a life well-lived.