Ptooey!
Yuck, yuck, yuck. I just read at a blog from a parent that formerly homeschooled but is now part of the school system. The entry I read was about her child's test scores (very low) and miserable handwriting. He's 9!! In the real world, that is normal. In school you get labeled and given "remedial" help. Major YUCK.
The worst part, is this mother is crying and seeing her child as "less than" and imperfect. A child that has crushed her parenthood dreams about a brilliant child. That just broke my heart. To see your child through test scores and handwriting..focusing on the current weakness, rather than his shining brilliance for just being who he IS! What a heavy burden for a 9y.o. to bear. What a rotten way to see your child. It just breaks my heart.
I guess I'm especially raw because here her child is, right in front of her...healthy and ALIVE and she's choosing to focus on what he doesn't have at the moment.
She's got her child with her. She's got today. She has the choice to focus on his beauty and strength and brilliance. She can live in joy right now.
And maybe I'll ask her to go read Anne Ohman's "I am what I am". sigh.......
The worst part, is this mother is crying and seeing her child as "less than" and imperfect. A child that has crushed her parenthood dreams about a brilliant child. That just broke my heart. To see your child through test scores and handwriting..focusing on the current weakness, rather than his shining brilliance for just being who he IS! What a heavy burden for a 9y.o. to bear. What a rotten way to see your child. It just breaks my heart.
I guess I'm especially raw because here her child is, right in front of her...healthy and ALIVE and she's choosing to focus on what he doesn't have at the moment.
She's got her child with her. She's got today. She has the choice to focus on his beauty and strength and brilliance. She can live in joy right now.
And maybe I'll ask her to go read Anne Ohman's "I am what I am". sigh.......
posted by Ren Allen | 8:20 AM
3 Comments:
It's amazing how easy it is to belittle a child. To say that what they have, who they are doesn't matter, it only matters that they are judged as a potential success. Sigh... Unschooling is the closest thing I have ever experienced to faith. I have complete faith that my children are exactly who they ought to be. And, believing that, makes it so much harder to be around parents who haven't attained my state of parental nirvana.
Schuyler
As a person who has gone through the public school system with my son for 6 long years I have to tell you that I don't know if I could have done the reverse.
public school is all about measuring up to a standard and if your child does not do that they are made to feel abnormal, they are looked down on by the staff and of course their classmates notice this and Viola your child is the Omega of the pack. The Staff come to you and complain, they insinuate, they bully and belittle till you feel so terrable and responcible and so uttlerly hopeless that all you see is the unperson your child is and all the ways you have failed. Then the response is to push your child HARD, yell and scream and cry when you fail to force them into this mold.
Your child knows when you are dissapointed and they take it personaly. They know when they are the Omega of their peer group and they know that the teachers look down on them and they are acutely aware of never being good enough.
This process of Unpersoning sets many children up for deprression, self loathing and antisocial behavior. Of course the Schools and the Public at large then blame the CHILD and the Parents.
My son will never be an unperson again.
Thanks for your input Diana and Schuyler.
"My son will never be an unperson again."
I think Galen is a most amazing person. It makes me so sad to think of what he endured, but it's wonderful to see him truly shining and happy now.:)
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