I think I've gotten to the point, where I have a hard time explaining unschooling--radical unschooling anyway--to anyone that isn't ready to understand. I know people that don't have lessons or curriculum, but would have a hard time understanding that we don't "study" anything. We learn all the time, but my children's interests haven't led them to anything that looks like formal study. Trevor has a broad knowledge of computers and how to build them, but he never did anything that looked like a class or "study". He learned. He read books some of the time, but I don't believe he would feel that he "studied" anything.
How do you explain that to the average person? Not planning a curriculum or requiring any sort of lesson is enough to freak most people out. But top it off with never separating life into subjects and not studying anything and you lose them all together. Sure, we delve into some interests deeply.....but we're just playing more intently.:)
In responding to a post at Unschooling Basics, I dredged up this
commencement speech that Anna Quindlen gave some years ago. It's a favorite of mine. It speaks about creating a life worth living, which has very little to do with studies or degrees or diplomas or societal expectations. If we are to truly march to the beat of our own drum, then certificates and degrees mean very little. Learning what we love is everything. If you're carrying around a heavy backpack of perfection....it's time to lay it down.
On a personal note, Neurofeedback has continued to be an interesting topic. Jalen is typically more centered and able to communicate after his sessions. He still thinks the games are "stupid" but seems to enjoy the calming effect. We've struck a bargain. He didn't really want to go back, so I made a deal with him that if he would do something he didn't like (neurofeedback) then I'd take him to do something he DID like afterwards. Yeah, it's bribery plain and simple. But I felt it was important enough to try this time around. And we've had a great time at McDonald's playland (yucky, yucky food....argh) and visiting the Dollar Tree.
Trevor even noticed the difference in Jalen one day. While driving in the car, Jalen and I were able to complete a conversation that involved explaining why we couldn't do something he wanted right at the moment (we explored many options without a melt-down) and how to resolve the issue. He has a very hard time processing certain information usually, but lately has been able to take it in, digest it and offer up information that contributes to a solution. Big step for my little man. I don't think he's punched the wall in anger for over a week now. Another big step. So the neurofeedback has been positive for all of us.
He's still his intense, active, energetic self. He's just more able to cope with transitions and information without the huge frustration and anger. It's really cool. It's no magic bullet. We still need a large dose of patience and mindfulness to stay connected. But that gentle nudge to the brain has definitely made life easier for him to cope with......and in turn making it easier for us to meet his needs. Neurofeedback is gentle, gentle nudges. That's all. It isn't some "cure", but it helps the mind operate more effectively which I figure all of us can use a bit of help with.
So far, it's been a very positive experience and I hope we can continue sessions for a little while longer.
